There will be no PoeScripts this week, not much of a one anyway. I am allowing myself a pre-birthday month indulgence. I’m not going to show up to this space today as fully as I typically desire.
I have some stuff to sort through and I need this time. Going around the triggers that have come up close to my birthday for the last ten years is no longer a viable option. I must muck through the muddy water to get to the other side of these depressive episodes that encroach as my birthdays have drawn near. It’s not the birthdays themselves. Anyone who knows me, knows I love birthdays and feel compelled to honor and celebrate them! Not just mine, but my family and friends’ birthdays, too! Heck, I’m a big advocate of birthday months, not birth ‘day’. And it’s not turning 70 that’s got me kinked; I’m a big proponent that decade birthdays be remarkable and memorable!
Maybe it is because it’s a decade birthday that I’m intent on setting off on unearthing what’s behind these BIG emotions. Whatever is driving me, it is just imperative that I take this time - when I would normally be writing - to get to the root of this rot. Apparently, I’m not alone in experiencing birthday volatility; I recently listened to a “We Can Do Hard Things” podcast about the emotional charge of birthdays. Here’s the link, if this resonates with you: Why Do Birthdays Brings So Many Feelings
What runs contradictory to me having these feelings is the fact that for all my years, I have always felt that birthdays are a glorious gift and an excellent reason to celebrate. Case in point, I am delighted to be able to pick up my six year old granddaughter from school in a couple of hours in order to spend a precious bit of time celebrating her special day with her! That is a gift to me!
So I take my leave with gratitude in my heart for your understanding and for your presence here.
Remain curious. Be Well, Be Kind. And As Buddha requests, “Radiate boundless love towards the entire world.” As Always, With Love
Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others. Cicero
Thank you, Phoebe. Your kind words and wishes really touched my heart; thank you for helping me feel seen and heard. And for the reminder to handle myself with care. I’ve been working at it!
Thanks, Gloria! It really is!! I am planning on aging like a fine wine. I’m hoping to have worked through all these wonky emotions by the 15th!! Hugs!